离开耶和华见证人，转向基督——Gordon Cook的见证

转载自：「Leaving the Jehovah's Witnesses and coming to Christ--Gordon Cook's Story」https://carm.org/christianity/testimonies/leaving-jehovahs-witnesses-and-coming-christ-gordon-cooks-story 

My upbringing was not particularly religious. 我的背景不是太虔诚。My father was Church of England, though I never knew him go to church, but he did believe in God.我的父亲属于英国教会，但我从未见过他上教堂，虽然他说自己相信有神。 My mother was in the Salvation Army and attended fairly regularly, I went occasionally. But no attempt was made to give me any religious teaching. My father had to give up work through ill health, so family life was a bit of a struggle back then in the early 1960’s. My mother died when I was 16. I had an older brother and sister but they lived away from home. 

Because of the family situation, it just being my father and myself, as soon as I left school I had to get a job.我出来工作。 so any plans for further education went out the window. I suppose I embarked on the usual things for a young man going out drinking etc, with friends. Strangely in our sessions in local pubs we often discussed God, why are we here, where are we going, the usual questions. 我们常在酒吧讨论神的问题， I started to be drawn to the Bible 我开始被圣经吸引，wanting to know what it said about God, life and me. By the time I was 19 I was thinking of going into the ministry, I even contacted the Salvation Army about becoming an officer with them and the Church of England on becoming a minister. In fact the C of E wrote back to arrange a meeting to discuss it. 

At this time a friend of mine was working with a Jehovah’s Witness and he used to tell what the Jehovah's Witness was telling him. 我有一个耶和华见证人朋友，常告诉我们，耶和华见证人怎么讲。I thought it sounded interesting, not really knowing anything about the Jehovah's Witnesses at the time. So a meeting was arranged with one of their Elders. The way that that Elder answered questions and used the Bible in what seemed a logical and concise way I was drawn in. This seemed to be what I wanted , to learn about the Bible and what it said. So I started a “Bible study” with them,我向他们学习圣经， in that they use a book with their doctrines in and use Bible verses to back them up. This was March 1971; I would be 20 in April. I studied two books over the next 9 months or so, and was baptised as a Jehovah's Witness on January 6th. 1972. 我受洗成为耶和华见证人， I had already been going out on the door-to-door ministry 逐家逐户传教，that Jehovah's Witnesses are known for, very difficult to do when you are a shy person. I won’t go into what they do deeply just that you have to attended 5 meetings a week, 每星期参加五次聚会，2 of which are 2 hours long, 其中两个是两小时长的，go on field ministry regularly and put a report in at the end of each month saying how many hours you had done and how many magazines (Watchtower and Awake) books etc 每个月底写传教时间、销售书籍等的报告，you had placed with people. Records are kept on all the people you have spoken to so you can call back on them. 

In July 1974 I got married to a Jehovah's Witness girl, by October 1975 we had a son, eventually we had 7 children.我和一个耶和华见证人女孩结了婚，有七个孩子。 It was a very routine way of life. 生活一切平淡。I was working, attending meetings etc everything ce ntred around the Jehovah's Witness way of life.生活是围绕著耶和华见证人。 The Jehovah's Witness is centred on the organisation, by that I mean the “Watchtower Bible and Tract Society” which is the organisation that runs the Jehovah's Witnesses, also known as the Watchtower, of the Society. The view is that the Watchtower is “God’s only means of communication to man” the only true religion on earth, “God’s only means of salvation on earth” if you are not in the Watchtower then you will die at Armageddon! To question the organisation is to question Jehovah himself and no one did that or you where out. 

In time I started to feel something feel something was wrong. 我开始感觉有一点不对劲。At meetings when scripture was used I began to realise that many of them just did not fit what was being said from the platform. 在聚会中，他们使用的经文并不适合他们在讲的。 Scriptures taken out of context made to fit the Jehovah's Witness teaching. 他们不管经文的上下文，I would read the surrounding verses and realise that sometimes they were saying the opposite of what was being taught. 我读上下文时，了解到他们有时讲的，刚刚是相反的。Also the Jehovah's Witness teaching sidelines Jesus Christ, Jehovah's Witness teaching is that Jesus is the archangel Michael not part of a Trinity which they see as a pagan teaching. 他们说耶稣是天使长米迦勒，反对三位一体，并以耶稣为配角。But in my reading of scripture all I saw was Jesus Christ by who we were saved and not being part of an organisation and doing the works it said we had to do to be saved. 但是，当我读圣经，到处都讲到耶稣怎么样救了我。I discussed my feeling with a couple of the Elders, but was told to keep quiet about it, or I could be in trouble. 我和长老讨论，但他们叫我闭嘴，否则有麻烦。So I put it to the back of my mind though I went through a period where I would literally shake with the thought of having to go to a meeting. I often wonder now if it was the Lord trying to tell me something. But fear kept me in the Jehovah's Witnesses.因为惧怕，我留在组织里。 

By now 1990 I was also a ministerial servant (deacon) in the congregation. 直到1990年，我成为教会的執事，Giving talks from the platform, even 45-minute public talks on a Sunday. 在讲台教训人， As well as items, ranging from 5- 20 minutes during other meetings. I was also in charge of literature, that is all the books, brochures, tracts, that are used on the field ministry. 管理 书籍等等，Through all this I was still having certain doubts, but never tempted to look elsewhere for information.我心里仍然存著怀疑。 

Now by 1995 I was struggling at home to make ends meet, having 7 children, a home and the expense of all that started to prove to much. 我现在有经济困难，My job was not paying all that much and looked like it may finish also. so I started using credit cards and a loan to pay for everything and got deeper and deeper into debt. 越来越陷入债务。By April 1996 I didn’t know where to turn and suffered a breakdown I just went off one day took some money from work. 我精神崩潰了，I went to the Lake District via Blackpool, spent about a week there just walking over the hills. Then decided to kill myself, 企图自杀。so I took about 30 tablets, paracetemol, aspirin and drank a bottle of brandy. This was in the evening sitting on a hill overlooking the valley at Windermere, thinking how beautiful it was. I gradually lost consciousness, and then woke up next morning feeling awful. Then for some reason I staggered back to where I was staying, and stayed in bed all day. I decided to head for a hospital, but decided to head for one near home. 

I arrived at the hospital in the evening. 我到医院去，They put me on a drip to try to clear the drugs out of my system. They contacted an Elder who came the next morning, who later brought my wife. Because I had tried to commit suicide I was “sectioned” and sent to a psychiatric hospital. 他们送我到精神病院。There I was diagnosed as having “acute clinical depression” and according to the doctors probably had it for a number of years but suppressed it and it came to a head in the breakdown I had. Also they said depression seems to be common amongst Jehovah’s Witnesses, 他们告诉我，在耶和华见证人中，抑郁是常见的。I was the third or fourth one they had had that year.我是那年第三或第四个， For a small group of people the ratio was quite high for depression.对於一个这么小的群组，百分率算非常高。 

Now this is where my faith was shaken. 於是，我的信仰开始动摇。I now thought that being in “Jehovah’s loving organisation” I would get help to overcome the depression. 我以为了在「耶和华的爱的团体」里，我可以得到帮助。Boy! Was I wrong? 我错了吗？Though spending 6 weeks in hospital no Elder would spend time with me. 我花了六个星期在医院，长老们少有花时间和我谈话，只有把我太太带来。They may bring my wife but did not want to stay and talk., but I saw the ministers of other patients visiting them. 但是我看见其他病人的牧师来访问他们。Eventually I was put on anti-depressants and sent home. 后来，我服食抗抑郁剂，被遣回家。This is now May 1996. I was very rarely visited by anyone 其他人也少有来看我，except Elders, the rest of the congregation would be “advised” to stay away, I was a danger. 聚集中其他人被「劝告」远离我，因为我是危险人物。I had to appear before a judicial committee of three elders, where I was “privately reproved.” 我要在教会的法庭式委员会前，我被「私下责备」。 Their answer to my problem consisted of I should going out on the door-to-door work more and attending the meetings. 解决的办法就是逐户传教和参加聚会。People I had known for years stopped speaking to me. 认识多年的人不再和我谈话。My wife was more concerned about her standing in the congregation. 我的妻子也只关心她在教会里的地位。She stopped sleeping with me; she would sleep on the sofa downstairs.她不再和我同床。 I do not know how this was affecting my children at the time because it all seemed so surreal to me what was happening in “Jehovah’s loving organisation”. I managed to get a job anyway, but it was shift work so it meant I would miss some meetings. Which seemed to upset people more. 

Then in December 1996 my wife asked me to leave home, 我的妻子请我离开。just what someone who has depression needs! Later I found out this was under the influence of the Elders I was considered “a spiritual danger to the family” so had to go. 以后，我发现，原来这是长老们的影响，因为他们认为我是「灵性上伤害家庭」，所以应该赶走。 My wife even found me a bedsit to live in, in the next town so that we would not attend the same congregation. I started attending the congregation but had that feeling that they were weary of me. The Elders here, where no better, not one of them asked if they could visit me and have a chat.我太太为了我找到一个住处，是属於另一个聚会点的。这里的长老也好不到那里。 

Not long after moving out, my eldest son, a Jehovah's Witness, came to live with me. He having not agreed with what was going on with me. So we moved to a bigger place. We both continued attending the Jehovah's Witness meetings. Then my second son came to live with me. He was not a Jehovah's Witness but because he would not accept and become one his mother was making it awkward for him at home. This meant I had to get a bigger place. Then sometime later my second daughter came as well, she was a Jehovah's Witness. This was because of something that occurred at home. 因为各种原因，我的两个儿子和女孩搬到和我住。 During this time I had started looking into the teachings and history of Jehovah’s Witnesses. 在这期间，我开始研究耶和华见证人的教导和历史。What I found shook me I learnt about the false way in which they portrayed Jesus, the Holy Spirit, and had twisted scripture to suit their views. 我的发现使我震惊。他们教导有关耶稣是错的，歪曲圣经以适合他们的话，Plus the history of false prophecies, 错误的预言，changes in teachings and doctrine over the years, 教义一直在修改，showed it was nothing more than a man-made organisation. I stopped going to meetings in August 1999, my son and daughter who lived me had already done so. 我和孩子们都停止参加聚会。 In fact in September 1999 they both “disassociated” themselves from the Jehovah’s Witnesses. This means that no Jehovah's Witness could speak to them of have anything to do with them, even their own mother.耶和华见证人不再和他们来往，即使他们的母亲亦然。 

I still wanted to worship God but didn’t know where to go or what to do. 我还是想要敬拜神，但不知道怎么做。As a Jehovah's Witness you are taught that all other religions are apostate, satanic, demonic etc. 当我在耶和华见证人，我被告知，所有其他宗教都是撒但的，变节的等等。One of the books about the Jehovah's Witnesses I had read was published by the Reachout Trust, which help people in my situation. 我读到一本书，是帮助像我这样的耶和华见证人的，So I wrote to them asking 我给他们写信求助，for help and they put me in touch with their representative who happen to live not far away. He came to see me and help me see the “Christian” view of things. 他们帮助我明白「基督徒」的观点。He took me to a couple of meetings he was attending but they didn’t feel right to me. Then he took in March 2000 to a meeting at a place called the Narrowgate centre. It was here that I gave myself to Christ. 我将自己奉给基督。 But it was a bit far for me to get to so I thought of going to the main church which was the Wirral Christian Centre, Birkenhead an Elim Pentecostal church. I tried to go one Sunday evening but couldn’t pluck the courage to go in. 我没有勇气进到教堂里。Then the next day the assistant Pastor rang up and said he had been given my name, could he come to see me? He came and we had a chat and I told him about nearly going in to the church. 次日，牧师来见我，谈话。So he said he would come next Sunday and pick me up, 下一个星期日，他来接我。which he did. I was a bit apprehensive it was like the other end of the scale compared to a Jehovah's Witness meeting. But the place was so alive and everyone so friendly.那教堂是非常活泼和亲切。 The singing was marvellous such joy in the songs and the congregation singing them. Though the shouts of “Hallelujah and Amen” and speaking in tongues was a bit unnerving at first. I couldn’t believe the amount of prayer also, but it was so heartfelt with feeling. The sermon by Pastor Paul Epton bowled me over. I thought “Yes that’s how the word of God should be spoken” its alive! 

By December 2000 I had been attending the church about 9 months. My eldest son decided to come with me one Sunday evening just to see what I was getting into. 九个月之后，我的儿子随著我来参加，He ended up giving himself to Christ! 也接受了基督！ When the subject of baptism came up and they announced the next baptism would be on January 7th 2001. I jumped when I heard this, and said I wanted to be baptised. 我受了浸礼。This would be exactly 29 years from when I was baptised as a Jehovah's Witness.这是我在耶和华见证人里受洗后的29年。 

During this time I was still seeing my children who lived with my wife, three daughters and a son. 在此期间，我常常见到和我妻子同住的孩子们。In September 2001 while at work two Jehovah's Witness elders called at the house, to see me. My son answered the door; they said they would call back. Considering that I had not been to a Jehovah's Witness meeting for two years this was the first time they had called in two years. 我离开之后两年，耶和华见证人的长老来看我。Also one of the Elders only lived a 5-minute walk away and in that time had not bothered to call. I knew the only reason they where calling was because instructions had gone out from Watchtower HQ to try and get those Jehovah's Witnesses who had become inactive, left, disfellowshipped to return because they where dropping in numbers.他们来，原因是守望台总部下令要找回那些不活跃的和被赶走的。 Anyway I wrote to them saying that I was disassociating myself and that I was now a Christian. 我告诉他们，我是一个基督徒了。This meant that my wife, two daughters who were Jehovah's Witnesses could not have anything to do with me.我的太太和两个女儿都不再和我来往了。 Though my wife had not spoken to me since August 1999 anyway. The only children I now see are my two youngest a son (14) and daughter (13) they have to come to me as I am not allowed to their house. So a wife and mother, sisters and brothers, are forbidden to speak to us because a man-made organisation says so. Based on their interpretation of scripture. 

So where are we now? Well my son and myself are still attending the Wirral Christian Centre. We have had our ups and downs. I get the occasional bout of depression but now I no longer feel alone, now that I have Christ.我仍然偶尔有抑郁，但是我不再孤独了，因为我有基督了。 I still have financial problems that need sorting but I no longer let them dominate my life. I find that the prayer and support are there from others also. 我仍有经济问题，但我发现，祈祷和其他人也帮忙。The Lord through the Pastor has told me not to worry about the rest of the family He will deal with them in time. Also that I will have a two year period of ups and downs but will everything will eventually sort itself out, all I have to do is stay close to Him.事情慢慢变好了，我所需要的，就是紧靠耶稣。 

One thing that has happened is that my daughter who lived with me for a while, she is now 20, last Sunday evening gave herself to Christ. 我的20岁的女儿也归向基督了。The Lord will work everything out in His own time; I just have to wait on him. 主会慢慢帮忙我，我只需要等待他。 It is the difference between relying on a man-made organisation and relying on our Saviour Jesus Christ, who dwells in us.这就是依靠一个人的组织和依靠我们的救主耶稣基督的不同。 

by Gordon Cook 

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